Ask Zee Zee - What the Hell Do I Do With These?

Today’s burning question:

“Zee Zee, should I pay some attention to my husband’s balls during sex?”

⸻Still Wondering in Wichita

Zee:

I must assume you’re referring to testicles—those dangling orbs, or in some cases, chin rests.

They’re often ignored, poorly maintained, and awkwardly positioned like leftover party favors. But should you pay them some attention? Of course you should.

The man dragged them all the way here, didn’t he?

Let’s get something straight:

Men act like these things are sacred, but half of them don’t even know how to wash them properly. And yet, they dangle there—swinging, hopeful, waiting for acknowledgement like unpaid interns in a porn studio.

I’m not saying you need to sing to them, but a light brush, a gentle tug, maybe a compliment now and then? That’s customer service. That’s good hosting.

Final thought:

Yes, darling. A little attention goes a long way.

Not because it’s your job—but because ignoring them is like baking a cake and leaving off the frosting.

Just be careful: it’s a delicate ecosystem down there. You want to be memorable, not mentioned in a medical chart.

— Zee Zee

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Ask Zee Zee is the place where I turn your steamiest, stickiest, and most soul-searching questions about sex and relationships over to my fictional bestie, muse, and chaos counselor. Zee Zee’s got taste, tact, and zero tolerance for nonsense—unless it’s the fun kind.

She’s brilliant. She’s blunt. She’s probably texting your ex right now.

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For more Zee Zee, Q, and Stella buy In No Particular Order. A book by Zee Zee Writer. Comes with characters, chaos, and questionable morals.

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