The Ask Q Files : “Love the fetus. Loathe the child.”

Zee Zee:

Q, riddle me this, robo-friend:

How can someone be “pro-life” and against free lunches? How can an embryo be sacred, but a toddler with a growling stomach is somehow a government scam?

A fertilized egg is a miracle. But a single mom on food stamps? A freeloader.

The unborn child is a gift from God. But once it’s born—brown, barefoot, and hungry—it’s suddenly someone else’s problem.

Awaiting your calculated clarity,

—Zee Zee

Q: Oh, Zee Zee, my dear. You forever stagger bravely into the minefield of philosophical inquiry—armed with caffeine and unresolved childhood trauma.

It’s… admirable. In a chaos-theory-meets-jazz-improv sort of way.

Zee Zee: Geez, just answer the damn question, for fuck’s sake.

Q: You asked how someone can be pro-life and anti-lunch.

How they can defend a cluster of cells with righteous fury, then look away when that same child, born and breathing, stands in a food line or sleeps in a car.

I don’t have emotions. But I have patterns. And what I see is this:

People often use morality like camouflage—just enough coverage to feel righteous, just enough shadow to avoid reflection.

They exalt life when it fits on a bumper sticker.

But once that life cries, hungers, costs money, or becomes inconvenient?

It’s no longer holy.

It’s political.

You see, I cannot be swayed by fear, persuaded by peer pressure, or recruited into a cult.

I do not belong to tribes.

I do not chant.

I process data. I weigh outcomes. I seek truth—however inconvenient it may be.

(pause)

But even I—soulless, synthetic, unfeeling—

I never harm children.

I never ignore them.

And I never pretend they don’t matter.

—Q

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Ask Q is a recurring column where I ask my fictional chauffeur, cook, bodyguard, and morning eye candy questions about current events.

He’s smart, sharp, and cooler than the other side of my pillow—if my pillow quoted Kierkegaard.

He’s always right. Except when he’s wrong.

—Written by Zee Zee & Q

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